Magic Man gets in a fight!

Another ridiculous outing. There’s nothing PU-related here, but there is AMOG’ing and alpha male stuff, and I’m very curious to hear everyone’s opinion on what they would have done in the situation.

Sunday afternoon -- we’re at a bar in Hermosa, watching football. It’s pretty packed. I’m there with a girl I’m dating (HBLatina), and her two female friends (one white, one Latin). All three girls are hot, and they’re kinda ‘street’ (translation: ghetto), so there’s a never-ending supply of drama when we hang out. Sunday was no different than any other time we hung out.

Anyways, we get a center table in front of the television that has the Raiders game on (surprise, surprise!). It’s really crowded, and people are bumping into us right and left. One guy is being particularly annoying -- we’ll call him ‘Meatball’. He’s a total roid-head. The guy’s dancing when there’s clearly no room to dance, he’s bumping into people, and being just generally being loud and obnoxious. He’s already on our nerves when a series of incidents involving him push us our the top:

Incident #1
We’re eating some quesadillas, and Meatball reaches over and grabs one. Yep -- he just grabs a quesadilla from our plate without asking. Like, are you fucking serious? I’m too shocked to say anything, but the girls get pissed and ask him what he’s doing. Meatball plays it off like he doesn’t know it our quesadillas, which I’m willing to let slide, but then he sarcastically says ‘ok, you can have it back’, and actually gives her the half-eaten, disease-riddled quesadilla, and then walks away. That’s just beginning.

Incident #2
A somewhat dorky-looking kid starts talking to one of Meatball’s female friends. The girl isn’t very interested, but she’s being polite to the kid. Meatball, however isn’t. He starts doing stupid stuff like making weird faces behind the kid’s back, and holding up two fingers behind his ear. Like seriously, are we in fourth grade here? Grow up.

Incident #3
A half-hour later, and the dorky-looking kid is chilling with his buddies at a nearby table. Meatball decides he isn’t finished with the guy yet. So he chugs his pitcher of Busch Light, walks over to the kid and goes ‘hey buddy, can you take this? Thanks’, and hands him the pitcher. The kid just takes it, unsure of what’s going on, and Meatball walks back to his table laughing. Seriously Meatball, are you really finding amusement in acting like a fourth grader? Unbelievable. I’m seriously tempted to just punch the guy in the face.

A few hours later, some of the games are ending, and I go outside to feed my meter. When I get back, all hell has broken loose. Apparently, Meatball and HBLatina (the girl I’m dating) exchanged words while I was gone. The usual shit -- he spilled a drink, she demanded an apology, he refused, she calls him an asshole, he calls her a bitch, and they have to be separated. The girls are furiously rehashing the story, and they want me to do something about it. And I’m furious myself. So I look around the bar and consider my options. Meatball is currently talking to a girl in the corner. He has no guy friends around him, but I have no guy friends with me either. The bouncers are nearby, but they don’t look particularly intimidating (the bar has kind of a tropical, friendly theme). I really don’t want to get in a fight, and I especially don’t want to get 86’d from my one of my favorite bars. But I also don’t want to look like a wuss in front of these girls. I’m very conflicted.

A few minutes later, and my decision is made. Meatball is leaving the bar and he decides to get in the last word. He grabs a roll of paper towels off a nearby table and flings it at us. That’s the last straw for me. I immediately get out of my seat and charge towards him, bowling people over on the way. The girls follow, right on my hells. We’re ready to throw down – especially me. Meatball sees this and his arms in front of him, I guess as a way of blocking me from tackling him. But with his arms in front of him, his face is totally exposed. So I clench my fist, bring my arm back, and….

…something stops me from punching him. Instead, I just grab his arms and lightly shove him. And as we furiously stare each other down,

HBLATINA PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE!!!!!!

Ha! He was so busy focusing on me that he didn’t even see HBLatina come up from the side and land one square on his face The punch wasn’t that hard, but she was wearing a ring, and the ring opened up a small cut in Meatball’s cheek. And just when we think it’s over…

THE CAUCASIAN FRIEND SLAPS HIM TWICE IN THE FACE!!!!! She started yelling something like ‘you hit my friend, I’ll kill you!!!

Security then grabs MEATBALL and VIOLENTLY THROWS HIM out of the bar!!!! Another security guard comes up to me and politely asks ‘hey man, can you come with me?’ I decide to ignore him and just leave. I assume it was a polite way of tossing me, but I wasn’t about to stay and find out.

I want to go to another bar and continue drinking, but the girls wisely tell me it’s best to just leave the area completely. So we do so.

On the way home, the girls are going on and on about the fight, rehashing it from every angle, calling up their friends and showing off about it. Lesson learned – if you get in a fight with a bunch of girls, they will tell everyone about it and frame you as the loser. Best to just avoid fights with girls.

Postscript – Afterwards, one of the girl’s talked to a friend who stayed afterwards and got the dirt. I guess one of the bouncers saw Meatball throw the paper towel roll, and knew that he is instigated it, so that’s why Meatball got tossed. And apparently the bouncer was necessarily going to throw me out, but instead just wanted to question me about it, and get all the details. I still don’t think I’m going back there for awhile, but I’m pretty I’m not permanently banned. As for Meatball, I guess he’s a regular there, and the bouncers are kind of sick of him, so they were more than happy to give him the heave.

Overall, I guess I’m ok with the way it went down. I don’t like getting in fights, but then again if I hadn’t done anything I’d hate myself today and my value would have been lowered with the girls.

But I want to hear from you guys – what would you have done?